I’m slowly starting to lose it. My grandma has been with us since the Fourth of July after she had a mini stroke back in June. It’s finally starting to be too much for not only me but my whole family. There is no respect or appreciation from her. We have done everything for her. We’ve been cooking for her, dressing her, taking her to the bathroom, giving her showers. Giving her all of her meds, paying for her prescriptions, paying her bills, keeping up her house since she is here with us, taking her to all of her doctor appointments, trying to help her get her strength back. Everything. I mean she’s even sleeping in my room, and that’s because it’s easier for my parents and us to take care of her, and since her house has no ac, it’s like a sauna in there. So I have to privacy at all. I’ve been sleeping on the couch since she’s been here. I feel like I’m being selfish complaining but her actions, the way she speaks to us and how she expects is to drop everything in our lives to take care of her is a bit much. And she lies about everything. She also blames us for why she isn’t getting her strength back when we have been telling her everyday we will take her walking and watch her do her exercises but she doesn’t want to. She only talks to is when she wants something. It’s exhausting. She talks about me and the way I dress, how I do my makeup, the fact that I go out with my friends and boyfriend which she has no idea about. She goes through my personal things and blames it on my dog. It’s all too much and I’m on the verge of a breakdown. Not to mention that my parents and boyfriend aren’t getting along due to some past decisions he’s made. It’s all weighing down on me and I’m about ready to explode. I don’t know how to handle all of this. It’s so much. But somehow I’m doing it and a lot of it I owe to my boyfriend because he puts up with my shitty moods and tries to take my mind off of it all and I thank him so much for that. I don’t know what I’m going to do while he’s gone for two weeks. I’m going to miss him so much. It makes me very sad. I don’t want him to go.
Sigh I needed to vent.